


Annabel Lee

by myfivemeters



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Car Accidents, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-18 05:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3558593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myfivemeters/pseuds/myfivemeters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...But we loved with a love that was more than love-I and my Annabel Lee-with a love that the winged seraphs of heaven coveted her and me." Time makes the heart grow fonder and life grow crueler. Death comes swift and depression leaves slowly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. (unrelated to the story) Hey. It’s been a while. I don’t know if anyone noticed, but I deleted Eye of the Beholder because…well, I just lost interest in it. I didn’t have any inspiration left for it. Also, I know I haven’t updated In the Ground in a while, but I will update it soon. (Hopefully.)  
> 2\. This story is based on the poem “Annabel Lee” by Edgar Allan Poe. If you’ve read the poem already, than you know what’s going to happen, I guess. But if you haven’t, I suggest not doing it. This story will include the whole poem (each chapter has two stanzas of it inside, and they all come in order). Nothing’s stopping you from reading it, but it’ll spoil the story if you do.  
> 3\. Antonio has ADHD in this story. It’s not stated explicitly, but it’s pretty important to the story and the way it’s formatted. The last two chapters are choppy, because they’re moments that Antonio’s focusing on.  
> 4\. Lovino and Antonio are in an established relationship.  
> 5\. These chapters are really really short and I’m sorry about that. I wish I could’ve made them longer, but I think it’s better this way. As a whole, this story will probably only take people 5-10 minutes to read.

“It was many and many a year ago,

            In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you know

            By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

            Than to love and be loved by me.”

-Edgar Allan Poe, “Annabel Lee”, Stanza 1

\---

            The sun is bright, flashing on the pale sand and reflecting into the emerald eyes that look upon them. Those same eyes flicker to the ocean beyond those sands, smiling with excitement at the day to come. Currently, he’s waiting for his friends to get there share of beach things out of the car. He only brought a bamboo mat to lay on and some sunscreen; he figured that he would be out in the water most of the day.

            His friends finally catch up, and they walk down the dune together before reaching the flat expanse of shore. Many other children and teenagers like themselves were already there, enjoying the warm rays of sun and the cooling waves. He spots other friends from their school and makes a note to greet them before getting into the water.

            “Hey, there’s Feliciano and his brother,” his friend says from behind him. “We should go and say hi.”

            “Gil, I’m not sure if I should, I mean-“

            “It’ll be fine. Let’s go,” he—or Gil, as the emerald-eyed teenager calls him-says, grabbing the other teens’ elbows.

            “Gilbert’s right, Antonio,” the other one says. “You just need to get over your nerves and be the friendly, energetic person we both know you are. He’s probably not mad at you anymore.” Antonio sighs and walks with them in submission—as if he had a choice, however, as his friend’s steel grip is as tight as ever.

            “Hey Feli!” Gilbert exclaims once they reach the two other teens. The one with the lighter auburn hair turns his head away from the various bags they have and towards the trio. The already-existing smile widens at the sight of them.

            “Hi guys! Oh, Francis, are those new swimming shorts?” Antonio’s friends and Feliciano begin to chatter, but he himself walks over to the darker-haired one.

            “Hey, Lovino,” he says. He tries to come across as happy and energetic, but he instead sounds nervous, with a weird squeak in his voice.

            “What?” Lovino says. He has sunglasses on and a magazine in hand, obviously looking to lounge on his towel and relax.

            “Well, I was just wondering if—well, I mean, I guess if you don’t want to that’s fine, I mean you are reading and everything…”

            “I’ll go swimming with you,” he says softly. Antonio’s face perks up, and his nervousness almost lifts immediately. “Put some sunscreen on, and then we’ll go.”

            “Okay!” He drops his mat and squirts some sunscreen onto his hands before lathering up the front of his body and the backs of his legs. “Could you maybe get my back? Please?”

            “Sure.” Lovino stands up and takes his glasses off before grabbing the bottle from him. “I don’t know why you’re so nervous,” he whispers with a twinge of annoyance. “I’ll never say no.”

            “Really?”

            “Yeah,” he admits. The cool liquid spreads across the muscles of his back, and any tension that he still has seeps out of him.

            “You’re not mad at me anymore?” Antonio asks tentatively.

            “No. I could never stay mad at you, idiot.” The insult has no bite to it. If anything, it’s said almost lovingly.

            “Yay!” He exclaims. “I was so worried that you were still angry with me. I didn’t mean it, I really didn’t, I never would!”

            “I know that,” Lovino replies. “Your mom told me you hadn’t taken your medication that morning.” His hands leave Antonio’s back. “Let’s go.”

            “Have fun you two!” Feliciano calls from behind them. They both turn a little red before walking towards the shore. Once they reach the water, they wade in, reveling in the silky feeling of the salty water.

            “Are we going to go to our usual spot?” Antonio questions.

            “Of course.” Lovino begins to swim leisurely towards the end of the line of rocks that jut out of the blue waves. He follows suit, and in a matter of minutes, they reach the other side of the short rock wall. Antonio’s always enjoyed swimming, as it gives his mind one complete thing to concentrate on. He knows that Lovino likes it too, mainly because of the soothing effects it seems to have on the teen.

            On the other side of the rocks is a small, secluded beach that’s deserted. Not many people know about it, since the swim out to the rocks isn’t a short one. The beach is also filled with huge rocks, making it unappealing to those who do know about it. To them, though, it’s perfect, as many of the large rocks have flat plateaus that they love to sit on.

            They climb out of the water together, their hands linking together once they’re both on solid land. Antonio loves these pieces of time that he has with him, since it reveals a side to Lovino that no one else gets to see.

            “You’re smiling really weirdly at me,” Lovino says once they take their seats on the heated expanse of a rather large rock.

            “It’s because I really, really love you,” Antonio replies. He squeezes the other’s hand softly. “And I think that you’re probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

            “Yeah, yeah,” he says. “I, uh—jeez, Antonio, you’re the biggest sap I know. I love you too, ya bastard.”

            “And?” Antonio asks with a smile. Lovino glares at him with an obvious blush spreading on his face.

            “Don’t make me say it. You know what else.”

            “Do I?”

            “Fine! You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he exclaims. “But you already knew that,” he adds.

            “Yeah, I just really like hearing it.” Lovino scoffs and turns to look at the ocean. They stay like that for a while, enjoying each other’s company and watching the sun sink lower and lower into the sky.

            “I really love being with you. I hope you know that,” Antonio whispers. “Whenever I’m with you I feel like you’re the only thing I can think about.”

            “At least when you’ve taken your medication,” Lovino interjects.

            “Well, yeah.” Antonio laughs. “I hope I do the same for you.” Emerald and hazel eyes meet, conveying a type of feeling that words can’t.

            “Of course you do.” Antonio smiles softly at his response. _This_ is the side that he loves the most in Lovino, the side that has feeling and passion. Their lips meet, just barely brushing before coming together again in a more heated instance. His hands meet Lovino’s sides, brushing over the heated skin and pulling him closer.

            Lovino lays back on the rock, with Antonio hovering above him, his forearms planted on either side of him. His mind is amazed at how well he can concentrate on this one amazing, beautiful thing, and how he can only think about Lovino’s roaming hands stretching across his chest. He marvels at the electricity that seems to course through him as hands travel over stomach and down, down, until—

            _Oh._

\---

“ _I_ was a child and _she_ was a child,

            In this kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love—

            I and my Annabel Lee—

With a love that the winged seraphs of Heaven

            Coveted her and me.”

-Edgar Allan Poe, “Annabel Lee”, Stanza 2


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sepulchre--actually spelled 'sepulcher' but it's Edgar Allan Poe and he can do whatever the hell he wants. it's another word for a tomb or burial site.
> 
> For any of you wondering about Eye of the Beholder (no one's probably wondering but whatever), I might work on it again someday and turn it into a one shot, since I seem to be doing okay with those. Yeah. If anyone, anyone at all is wondering about In the Ground, I'll...well, I can't really promise anything about that one anymore. I'll try and wrap it up or something. Idk anymore, no one really cares about it so whatever I do it'll happen. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the second part of this story! Please comment if you like it? Yeah.

“And this was the reason that, long ago,

            In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

            My beautiful Annabel Lee;

So that her highborn kinsmen came

            And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

            In this kingdom by the sea.”

-Edgar Allan Poe, “Annabel Lee”, Stanza 3

\---

Its two o’clock in the morning and Antonio is just now starting the last paragraph of his research paper. It’s no surprise, really, that it’s taken him this long to get most of it finished. Antonio’s mind has always had a tendency to wander onto things that it shouldn’t, especially when he needed to get something done. He half-wishes that Lovino was with him, but he knows that then he _really_ wouldn’t get anything done.

            He stops typing in favor of thinking about his lover. A smile subconsciously makes its way onto his face as he thinks about Lovino. He glances at his phone, remembering that Lovino was supposed to call him when he was done at his grandfather’s house. Antonio wonders for a second on what’s taken him so long, but settles on the idea that he probably just stayed the night, as his parents went on a trip out of town. He knows that Lovino doesn’t like being in an empty house, after all.

            Antonio squares his shoulders and starts to type again, excited that his paper is a few minutes from being done. The house phone rings, though, and he pauses to listen for his mother. She does get up, fortunately, and he hears her pad across the hardwood floor of the hall to get the phone. He resumes typing again, starting on his last sentence.

            “Antonio, honey? Are you awake?” His mother calls. Her voice is shaky, and she sounds like she’s about to cry.

            “I’m awake,” he replies back. He stands up and rushes towards his door. After opening it, Antonio sees his mother, standing with the phone still in her hand. Her face is a mixture between shock and pure sadness, something that makes his heart lurch. “Mom, what’s wrong?”

            “It’s Lovino, honey,” she whispers. “He got into a car accident on his way home. He’s in the hospital.” His eyes widen before he races past her and grabs his car keys.

            “I’ll be back soon,” is the last thing he says before exiting the house. Antonio climbs into the car and drives out—probably at a speed too fast for his own good. His fingers tap on the steering wheel the whole way, his mind whirling with the thousands of things that could happen to Lovino, along with memories of past family members that had died from the same thing. His father had died from a car accident, with his mother being the only survivor.

            The hospital leers at him once he parks. To him, hospitals bring death and sadness, and it’s really the last place that he wants to be. He needs to be there, though, because he would never forgive himself if something happened to his lover and he wasn’t there.

            A woman sits at the front desk, obviously tired from the third shift. He practically races up there and breathlessly asks, “Lovino Vargas, where is he? He was in a car accident, I need to see him.”

            “I’m sorry, but visiting hours are only during the day,” she replies. He slams his hands down on the clerk’s counter, effectively getting her full attention. “Okay!” She types something into her computer before speaking again. “Its room 203, but he’s in surgery.” Antonio’s gone before the clerk can even continue telling him that he can’t go.

            The only way that he can see into the room is a small window at the top of the door. He’s barely tall enough to look in, but what he sees terrifies him. Lovino is laying there, bloody and broken, surrounded by various people clad in green scrubs.

            “Toni,” someone says softly behind him. It’s Feliciano, sitting there with a sad and somber expression. Feli looks out of place in this hospital, and it’s eerie to see him with such a face. “He’s not going to make it.” Antonio feels angry, since his mind is still racing at 100 miles per hour. How could Feliciano, Lovino’s own _brother_ , be so calm in this situation? “Please, just sit down.”

            Finally giving in, he sits in the seat beside the Italian. “What happened?”

            “I don’t want to talk about it,” Feli whispers, and that’s when he notices that tear tracks on his cheeks and the messiness of his hair.

            Antonio grabs his hand and decides not to say anything, even though on the inside he needs to know what happened or he feels he’ll explode.

            _God?_ He thinks. _Are you up there? Please, just let him be alright._

\---

            He must have fallen asleep, because when he opens his eyes sun is streaming through the hospital’s windows and his head is on Feliciano’s shoulder. For a moment, it’s tranquil. The visible dust in the rays of sunlight float through the air and dance together. Feli’s breathing is deep and even, almost lulling him back to sleep. His surroundings seem to whisper to him, telling him to fall back asleep, into a world where everything’s alright.

            Antonio shakes off the tendrils of sleep, however, and stands up. Once his blood his moving, his nerves feel like they’re on fire and he can’t set a single thought straight. He needs his medication, he really does, but he feels that it would be unfair to Lovino, to leave for something that only benefits himself.

            _Lovino._ He needs to know what happened, if his boyfriend is okay, if he’s alive. He walks up to the room that he looked into previously and looks again, hoping to whatever power in heaven there is that his lover’s okay. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees the familiar figure, but something tells him that he’s not okay. Emerald eyes follow the several cords situated on the bed, which lead to a large machine with various numbers displayed.

            “You can go in, if you’d like,” a female voice says from behind him. “He’s not very responsive, but…” She trails off. Antonio twists the handle slowly, afraid that entering the room will make this situation somehow more real.

            Lovino’s hands are cold, he notes when he grabs them, which is weird because his slender hands were always warm. It crushes him on the inside to see his lover like this, broken and dying on a hospital bed. What would he give to see those hazel eyes again?

            “What’s your relation to the patient?” The doctor asks, making Antonio jump a bit. He hadn’t realized that she was still here. “Sorry. I have to know, though, otherwise you can’t actually be in here.”

            “I’m his boyfriend,” he says softly, a small break occurring in his speech. His throat feels closed up, and he’s not sure if he really ever wants to speak again.

            “O-Oh,” she replies. “I’ll just leave you two. I’ll send the other boy in when he wakes. Once his parent or guardian gets here, we can talk about what happened.” He nods, and she finally walks out of the room.

            Hot tears start to stream down his face, and he wonders why bad things have to happen to people who did nothing wrong. Lovino didn’t deserve this.

\---

            “His brain is swelling at a rate we can’t control,” the doctor says. Lovino’s grandfather finally arrived, as their parents had gone out of town and couldn’t be reached. The three of them—Antonio, Feliciano, and Romulus—listen with rapt attention. “We don’t—well, we don’t think he’ll last another night, if it continues like this. I’m sorry,” she whispers before exiting the room.

            For the next hour, the only thing that can be heard in the white room is sobs and curses.

\---

            Antonio’s mom swings by and sits with them for a little while. She brought them all food, which was something that he would’ve appreciated—if he had actually felt like eating. His mind feels like its shut off. Normally, this would’ve felt like paradise, but all he feels is numbness and the only thing that floats around in his head is the knowledge that Lovino is going to die.

            Right now, he’s clutching Lovino’s hand, something that he’s been doing on and off all day. He begs him to wake up, to smile, to laugh, to curse. Anything if it meant life.

            “Toni,” his mom whispers. “Maybe you should get some rest. Take a shower and change, honey. He’ll be here when you get back, I promise you.”

            “You can’t promise that!” He snaps. “Lovino could die any second now and I can’t—I would never forgive myself if I was at home taking a shower instead of right here when that happens.”

            She sighs and gives his shoulder a squeeze before leaving.

\---

            The funeral is nice, filled with lots of people. Gilbert and Francis are there, but Antonio doesn’t really feel like talking to them. All he can look at is the ebony coffin being lowered down and covered up with dirt, sealing away his love forever.

            The ceremony flits by, and many people speak. He himself was offered to, also, but he refused. It wouldn’t feel right, he thinks, to talk about Lovino like no one was ever going to think about him ever again.

            Antonio is the last one there. He sits down beside the fresh dirt and reads the tomb over and over again. It’s fitting that they buried him by their beach, since it was his favorite spot to be. His mind continues to whirl, and even though it’s all about Lovino, he can’t stop thinking about a million different things at once and it’s starting to make his head hurt. The medication bottle on his counter hasn’t been touched in three days, and he doesn’t plan on taking them anytime soon.

            When he stands up again, his nice black pants are dirty and his eyes are red. “What would Lovino say if he saw me right now,” he dryly chuckles. He supposes it doesn’t matter, though, because Lovino isn’t here to tell him.

\---

“The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,

            Went envying her and me—

Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,

            In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

            Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.”

-Edgar Allan Poe, “Annabel Lee”, Stanza 4


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the last chapter! Thank you for reading! I've got another Spamano fic in the works, but it's...well, if I publish it, you'll see.

“But our love it was stronger by far than the love

            Of those who were older than we—

            Of many far wiser than we—

And neither the angels in Heaven above

            Nor the demons down under the sea

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

            Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.”

-Edgar Allan Poe, “Annabel Lee”, Stanza 5

\---

            Weeks pass and the medication grows dusty. Emerald eyes never fail to read the marble tomb, and by now the etched words have become memorized. The waves continue to beat down on the coast, and children continue to laugh and play on its warm sands, as if the world hadn’t just lost someone that Antonio holds so dear.

            He can feel the sun, and the dirt beneath him, but he can’t really _feel_ anything—his body feels numb. His soul feels as if it’s somewhere else, anywhere but where it should be. The only thing that he can come close to feeling is sadness, and it consumes him.

            Antonio just wants to feel whole again, but he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to.

\---

            He goes to the secluded beach when he’s not at the grave and relives the moments he’ll never be able to have again. The heated touches, the longing glances, smiles that conveyed more love than the word itself could. What would he give to see his lover just one more time? Anything, probably, even his own life.

            He’s thought about it a lot. Killing himself, that is. A few things stop him—his mother, for one thing. There’s no way he’s leaving her by herself. He wouldn’t forgive himself for doing something like that, and then he’d definitely go to Hell, anyways.

            Which is another thing that stops him: if he kills himself, Antonio’s sure that he’ll end up in Hell. Then he’d really never be able to see Lovino again, since he knows that someone as perfect as his Italian lover would’ve gone straight to heaven.

            Then there’s Lovino himself. Even though he’s not here with him, his heart says that Lovino would hate him for all eternity if he took his own life just to be with him.

            It hurts, knowing that he’ll have to wait his entire life just to see the one person that he cares about the most.

\---

            Although, that might not be true—dreams never fail to bring Lovino’s image to him, whether it be memories that he’s relived a thousand times, or new instances that Antonio’s twisted subconscious has created to torment him. Sometimes, when his mother comes in to wake up, he’ll be sobbing in his sleep. She’ll rush to free him from the thorns of slumber, and he’ll cry for a while before returning to the hollowness that’s taken him over.

            Other mornings, though, he’ll have a serene smile on his face, an occurrence that hardly ever happens during the day. It kills her on the inside to wake him up and return him to the harsh reality that the family has come to know. She wants her son to just have a break, to find the happiness that he once held so brightly.

            It doesn’t take her long to realize that Lovino was the one to give him that happiness.

\---

            Antonio’s at the grave again, but it’s nighttime, for a change. Stars twinkle above him as he sits on the ground, placing a hand on the cold marble. 

            “Hey, Lovino,” he croaks. He hasn’t spoken much in a while, and his throat hurts from all the crying and sobbing he’s been doing. “I miss you so much.” The ocean just beyond seems to still, pausing in its routine to mourn for Antonio. He swears that everything around him falls silent, as if to listen to the spoken lament. “Where’d you go? Why did you—why did you leave me all alone,” he whispers.

            He knows that Lovino’s not gone, not really, because as long as his memory stays, Lovino will always be with him. But he doesn’t just want memories, he wants his living, breathing lover back. He wants to touch him, to hold him, to talk to him.

            “How’s heaven?” He asks. “That’s where you are, it’s gotta be. There’s no other place for you.” Tan fingers trace the words on the grave, giving his brain something to concentrate on while he talks. “Are you happy? I hope you are. I’m not, not anymore.”

            _Lovino wouldn’t want this,_ he thinks. _He wouldn’t want me to be like this._

            “It doesn’t matter though, does it? You’re not here with me, so it doesn’t even matter.” He runs his free hand through his disheveled hair. “I can’t think about anything but you. Do you feel the same?” It occurs to him briefly that Lovino might not even hear him—what if heaven wasn’t even real? Was there even a God somewhere up there? There couldn’t be, if someone like Lovino had to die so young.

            No, no, no; there had to be something there, something after life, or else Antonio will never be able to see him again. He clutches to that idea, and it grounds him. Live your life, and you’ll be able to see him. It’s a sick mantra that he keeps up, but it’s the only thing that stops him from throwing his body into the sea.

            “Wherever you are, I hope you think about me,” he says after a period of silence. “Because I think about you all the time. It would kill me if you forgot about me.”

\---

            It becomes a twisted routine. Antonio visits every night, because it means more privacy. He hardly sleeps anymore, although he wishes he did, since it’s the only time that he truly gets to be with Lovino.

            Instead of feeling empty, however, he feels a strange sort of happiness when he visits the ocean tomb. It’s the only place nowadays that he can think straight, since it makes him focus on Lovino and Lovino only. It keeps him grounded.

            Sometimes he falls asleep on top of the grave without even noticing. Antonio feels safe there, like his lover is with him, protecting him. It’s the closest he’ll ever feel to being whole again.

\---

“For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams

            Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes

            Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

            Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,

In her sepulchre there by the sea—

In her tomb by the sounding sea.”

-Edgar Allan Poe, “Annabel Lee”, Stanza 6


End file.
